Loathing and Lovesick: Harper's (very) Obvious Solution for a Broken Heart

my heart is on fire today. yes, the seductive, captivating, highly acclaimed amateur provider (Moi) was knocked off her Buffalo Stance last week and brought to her knees in a frustrarting turn of events: Harper got played. She got played good. The culprit A dashing stallionesque narcisistic megalomaniacal bucket-hat-wearing lip-licking mercedes-driving smooth-talking gaslighting SLUTTY sunnofabitch, THAT's WHO. And if hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, a rejected and neglected vagina hath no better a solution than to get it in with a trove of eligible, freaky and ravaging dicks. So gentlemen, BRING IT ON! INCALLS AND OUTCALLS, FULL SERVICE, NEARLY ALL INCLUSIVE, DIVERSE AND COLORFUL MENU! Tonight Ima forget the fuck out of this man, put my best lingerie on, take a couple shots, and as taught to us by the Teaches of Peaches, FUQ THE PAIN AWAY!! I'll be waiting... oh, and I have a new number. It's a long story as why I keep changing my number, but rest assured that this is the last time.